Another scary night!
Earlier today my sister had come to visit and we braved having a wander around Bluewater. At the time it was slightly tiring and my chest was feeling 'funny' or 'tight' for most of the trip, I'd not been out, aside from hospital visits, in such a long time and had missed seeing my sister so much. I think there has only been one other trip out to eat since the first attack.
It all began at about 5:30pm. I'd been telling my sister about the way I take pictures and we were sat in my room quietly editing a few shots from our phones. I'd suddenly got some stomach cramps, went to the toilet and on coming back into the room I felt something was wrong. It was as if someone had turned my thoughts off, it was so quiet, I could hear my sister talking but I couldn't really formulate any type of response. Waves of nausea became apparent and so I grabbed the bin.. just to be safe. I started to get the familiar small pulsing pain in the one spot on the side of my head. For some reason a couple of tears came from my eyes, but I was not crying! The nerves in my face seemed to start pulling and the bubbling in my chest started along with the 'feeling' of movement through my neck and up into my head. The numbness/loss of sensitivity in my cheeks has seemingly spread to all over my face, except for around my eyes and nose. Breathing was once again feeling...wrong. The closest thing I can describe this as is if you are trying to drink a fizzy drink through a straw with a hole in it. I opened my mouth to speak to my sister but the words just wouldn't come out. My face wasn't drooped, yet, but all my words were slow and slurred. Got up and the legs, once again, had seemingly decided to not really co-operate, however, we shifted base to downstairs so that I was in the room with my parents.
It's horrible to sit there and put your family through this, it really is. It's only afterwards the guilt hits though. It makes me sad that I can't fix things, I can't control it and no one has seemed all that bothered that this is happening to someone in their mid twenties, except the most recent doctor.
Anyway, that's going off on a bit of a tangent. The symptoms worsened a little more with my whole left side turning into dead weight and I sort of slumped to the left in the chair and just turned into a zombie for a while, unable to form sentences or move. After a few hours it seemed to be over and I was glad this episode had not been worse. If anything, it was closer to resembling the initial attack than all the others but I managed to get back on my feet and wobble about, trying to walk.
Later this evening my heart began to thump really really fast after I'd come back up to my bedroom. It was alright until the breathing once again felt.. wrong. It's so hard to describe all these feelings inside.. all are strange and I feel its so important to convey the feeling with the correct word but in my case, I seem to fail at it rather well!
Back downstairs to check my blood pressure - 129/76 120bpm (x3). No idea what the first numbers mean but all that fast thumping while sitting down didn't feel right at all. Again, the nausea came and then more nerve twitches, intermittent loss of voice and an intense dizziness. This is when it got..worrying. I literally had no control over what was happening inside me. Breathing was causing horrible feelings in my chest and what I assume to be my heart. I suppose there is less of a mental panic now though, it has happened so many times now that I hope it will not cause the worst to happen. Eventually the facial droop came which was a welcome relief as it seems to signify the tail end of an episode. I can only keep my fingers crossed and hope that two episodes today will mean none tomorrow!
I'm too tired to write more now. Although, It doesn't really get that much more exciting!
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